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My mind is ready to go but my body doesn't want to listen. I can't will it work no matter how hard I try. Ultimately, my body always wins and I am left in frustration and tears. I am not in control, I am not in charge. The choice is not mine. Halloween skeleton is me. Rattling bones that can barely move. Squeaky and tight, loose and falling apart. All in one.

I often find myself in a place of joyful contentment and then I just stay in it for several peaceful moments, basking in it, soaking in it, finding gratefulness and grace inside of it. It comes from within, as a result of the beautiful relationship that I have with my husband, which eliminates any doubts that I may have ever had in the union of two people. Not that I ever had any doubts at all. From the moment I knew him, from the moment I first met him, my intuition overcame

His name is Walter. Walter Grand. To be more specific, Mr. Walter Grand. I am torn because I suppose to hate him. And I do, some days I hate him very much. He represents the darkness and the shadow of the past that is still sitting on my shoulders. But somehow, I find myself more and more excited to have him. I am drawn to him. Maybe we can be friends…or wait…even lovers? Can we? Walter is a very unexpected love story…. because I never had any desire to be around him. Ever.

It is 8am and I stumble out of my bed. It is Sunday morning and I have to get ready for church. I have been a church pianist at a presbyterian church for 7 and a half years now, ever since we moved to Texas. I am sleepy and tired. I barely slept last night. Maybe 2 or 3 hours max. This happens to me nearly every Saturday night. I work myself up with my crippling performance anxiety and then I cannot sleep. It doesn’t make any sense. The older I get, the worse it is. Why? I do

I have lived with the Woodys for a while now. They are kind people and they seem to be ok with my constant presence. However, I still yearn for independence. I am an adult and I need to take care of myself. I am so done depending on others for everything. I do have my library job and I add another job as a dining hall dishwasher to my resume. It’s still on campus and I am still making just the minimum wage. But by combining both of my jobs, I work around 30 hours per week and

I get a job at the school library and I love every minute of it. I make minimum wage which is $5.15 per hour but I don’t care. It’s money. For the first time ever, I am able to make money on my own. I am not allowed to work off campus with my current student visa status. That would require another permit from the Immigration office. A work permit which I don’t have yet. One step at a time. Besides, I love my little library job. I get to know many people, students and professo

It’s December and my first semester at NGCSU is pretty much over. I have been staying with Dr. Jones’ family for several weeks, while he has actively been looking for a place for me to live. Dr. Jones and his wife have 5 children, ranging from 5 to 14 years old. They are squeezed into a very small modest house but they happily make room for me too. They are sweet and kind to me. But mainly, I am not hungry anymore. Mrs. Jones is a stay at home mom and she homeschools her chil